Manghuhula bulok!

I was in NY about 3 weeks ago. As I was walking down the street in the lower east side when I saw a tarot card reader, tarot reading for 10 dollars. I figured what the heck.. Might as well, I have some time to kill. So I proceeded with the reading.

She made me cut the deck a few times, shuffle, and pick a few cards..
According to her reading.. She seems me recently cutting off a few ties that has been dragging me down (don't really know what she meant by that.. I stopped talking to my ex.. And don't plan on calling her or speaking to her, also this other girl that I use to think about a lot.. I stopped thinkin about her as much.. don't really care anymore). She said that could be it.

She said im comming off a bad luck cycle so the next few years should be good for me. She also told me, that should go ahead and try the new risk/adventure/change.
With this new risk I will be successful and be happy. She said with this new venture, I will meet a man who will be my mentor. This man has a lot of gadgets and is an older fellow. Through this man I will meet a female.. she sees it as a very light skinned girl. So I ask, is it going to be a white girl.. she replied, yes. Right then and there.. I knew she sucks!! I don't want no stinkin white girl! Pero crush ko ngayon ang puti puti! Nde yata umiitim.. hehe.. She said this should happen within the next two months. She also said our relationship is going to be very physical and sexual, so be carefull if I don't want to have any babies soon. YIKES!!

Welp, that's 10 dollars wasted. She gave me her card. Said if I have any questions just call/email her. She said she's usually busy she has a lot of regular clients but will reply to my emails eventually. I guess we just have to see what the future holds...

Sino ito?

Sino ito? artista ba? model ba? hulaan nyo! bagay ba kami? grabe ganda talaga ng pinay!!

View at Work

Ito view sa desk ko kuha ng phone ko. Yan PC ko, phone, water, tapos meron apat na monitor where i get alerts and monitor activity... shiet boring!

Bigatin!!!

hehe..hanep si title.. kanina.. naglalakad ako sa walmart (malaking tindahan dito) tapos meron malaki at mataba na babae sa harap ko.. ang bagal mag lakad. Nde ako maka overtake..kasi sa laki ng tyan nya.. naka labas mga baraso nya na matataba. Nakakatakot baka ma bundol ako. hehe.
Naisip ko.. ano kaya nangyari bat napapabayaan nila lumaki sila ng ganito kalaki?

Grabe food dito sa america. super nakakataba. Paano wala naman ako gaano ginagawa.. work naka upo. Tapos bihira mag lakad lagi nasa car. Bihira ako kumain ng healthy. Nakakatamad kasi mag luto pag mag isa ka lang. I weighed around 210lbs siguro mga 2 years ago. Namamayat lang ako ng conti pag soccer season, pero conti lang..hehe. Nung nalaman ko uuwi ako ng pinas.. I went on a hardcore diet/workout for like 2 months.. na reach ko ang weight na 180lbs. Grabe ang laki ng difference ng payat socially ... i would go dancing.. girls ang naglalapitan! (hirap ba paniwalaan pero totoo!) hehe. Lakas na ba hangin dyan?


Tapos wala ako ginawa sa pinas kung nde uminom at kumain ng pulutan...sarap ng buhay! Nung pag balik ko dito eh di yun nga break ako ni alam nyo na.. tapos yun nilabas ko galit ko sa pagkain! grabe tumaba ako ng husto. up to 225!! Isang pants ko na lang nag kasya pero i refused to buy new cloths kasi in denial ako..hehe... ito nung nasa airport ako pauwi ng pinas...


So ngayon meron ako bago inspiration.. kaya nag simula na ulit training. Ang ganda at sexy sobra ng inspiration ko kelangan match kami. Nde lang sya maganda at maganda pero napaka bait pa. Tapos magaling pa kumanta at napaka considerate, totoo yan, meron pang taong ganon. :) Currently nasa 195 ako from 225. Ang goal ko is 180 ulit. Halos every day if i dont run 2 miles, I play soccer. Once I reach 180, super work out naman goal ko para ayus. hehe.

You can usually tell a little bit about a persons character sa itsura nila. So its true meron ibang tao payat talaga na nahihirapan tumaba.. pero like yung mga tao na super taba.. syempre kumain sila ng marami to reach that weight. Wala sila discipline to stop themselves from reaching extreme obeseity. So usually mahina sila , or meron mental/emotional problems, or tamad sila walang pakealam sa sarili. Im only refering to the extreme cases ha! Anyways walang point itong entry na ito. Asar lang ako sa mga super taba kasi usually super tamad tulad ng mga co workers ko!! hehehe..

Sorry kung meron ako na offend dyan.. pero im sure you know what im talking about..and if you are one of them..do something about it! For yourself, for your health, for your family, and for the people around you... peace!

NDE AKO MAKATULOG

For the past 3 weeks ang gulo ng tulog ko at least twice a week. Parang light sleep lang na madaming iniisip. Ang gulo ng utak ko nde ko matahimik. Right now i was trying to sleep pero bumangon ako kasi nde nanaman ako makatulog.

Iniisip ko things in life lang.. i have this feeling of anxiety na nde ko maintindihan. I keep moving around my bed tapos minsan pinapawisan or giniginaw. Ano kaya ito.. parang midlife crisis or menapuse.. hehe.

I was thinking about my future. like what wil happen if i quit my job. grabe i will lose so many things. my house, my car, my independence. Pero yung mga mahihirap na tao.. wala sila pera so they dont have much to lose to begin with. Yung mga contento sa buhay na conti ang material things pero happy sila sa life nila and with thier loved ones..kakaingit.
If u think about it.. yung mga mayayaman na tao ang madaming problema sa buhay. Sila ang nadedepress and take drugs for an escape. Meron ka na ba narinig na farmer or fisherman na nagpakamatay cause of depression?
Tingnan mo si michael jackson for example... super yaman nun pero tingnan mo ginawa nya sa mukha nya.. u think he is happy and content with life when he looks in the mirror even though he has everything he could possibly want.. what is missing? love? family? friends? Anyways im sure u get the point.

Iniisip ko din mga women in my life.. past and present..pero nde ko puede bangitin dito kasi masyado personal... pero things are going good.. i think.. kung walang magbabago.. slow and steady..

Iniisip ko din how i miss friends na nde ko na gaano nakikita or nakakausap cause of distance.. i hope and pray that you all are doing well!! These people have really good and genuine charactr: LIz, asim, mian, carl, liz na isa pa, corina, cathy!

Iniisip ko din mga pinsan ko na napakababait at ganda... how i regret na i didnt get to hang out with them as much as i would like to, nde ko sila nabigyan ng advice like a kuya should. Na miss ko mga debut, wedding, company, and important things that happend in thier life..

Iniisip ko din mga coworkers ko na ang tatamad.. ang papanget ng mga work ethics.. Iniisip ko how in corporate america.. you move up with who you know and not what u know...

I have htis general feeling of asar and worry..shiet ang pagnet.. punta na lang ako sa doc next week.. papatingin ko ulo ko.. hehe..

how to weed out guys

Grabe ang hahaba ng mga post ko.. gusto ko short and simple lang pero dami ko storia eh..sorry!

Lately ang dami ko nakikilala.. nagkaroon ng bf.. tapos yung bf nila meron na pala ibang gf or asawa!! shiet! grabe naman yan.. paano kayo nabibiktima ng ganon classeng lalaki? Nde ko alam sagot dyan..siguro magaling sila mangbola or sobrang wafu nila or something, ewan ko... pero usually those instances are long distance relationships.

Sa pinas.. karamihan ng pinsan ko mga babae. Actually sa mother side lahat sila babae... So asar ako sa mga lalaking manloloko! Pag meron nangloko sa inyo at kaibigan ko kayo.. pakilala nyo sakin..sisipain ko sa mukha.. :) basta wag lang over 6'3. hehe

Anyways ang maadvice ko dyan.. sa kahit kaninong lalaki.. ay pahirapan nyo ang lalaki. Bigyan nyo ng challenge. Usually ang manloloko.. madali mag give up. Lahat ng lalaki pahirapan nyo. Awayin nyo pa minsan minsan para makilala nyo ng husto. Minsan kasi nakikilala nyo ang tunay nilang pagkatao pag galit sila. Dapat kasi ang lalaki, they have to earn your trust and respect. Nde lang yan basta basta binibigay. Lalu na pag nde nyo pa kilala gaano ang lalaki. The fun part in being in a relationship is the process of getting to know each other. Yun ang masarap dyan eh..

Ok so lets say binigyan na ninyo ng chance.. the next part is take it slow! Wag kayo magmamadali. Kung mahal kayo nyan, magtatyaga yan kahit gaano ka tagal at hirap.. wag lang unreasonable. Alamin nyo schedules nila at common habits nila w/o invading their space. Usually pag meron kayo nde alam at meron silang palusot.. mag duda na kayo. Pag mahal kayo ng lalaki.. they would want you to know what they are doing cause usually they are always thinking about you. Kilalalnin nyo friends and family nila. Pag gusto kayo ng lalaki..papakilala nila kayo sa friends and family nila.. pag ayaw kayo pakilala.. mag duda na kayo! I cant think of a good reason why they wouldnt do such a thing.

Anyways.. try nyo follow yan..I dont claim to be a guy expert or relationship expert.. observation ko lang yan...so hopefully nde na kayo ma loko ng iba...

Pinay VS Others

Lagi ako tinatanong.. bat wala pa ako asawa or gf since i already have a house, stable job, car, etc.... Ang lagi kong sagot. Wala kasi ako nakikilala dito na pinay eh. So the next question.. bakit pinay?

I moved here sa states when i was about 13 yrs old. Most of the girls i went out with are white american girls, a few mexicans, a few vietnamese, one korean, and had a fling with an indian girl...oh and a french girl. Patay na patay ako dati sa blonde and blue eyed girl. When i was 26, I have been going out with this white girl for almost 2 years. Things were getting rocky so we took a little time off and I went back to Philippines for the first time after 13 yrs.

Nung nasa pinas ako. Nakita ko paano mag alaga mga tita ko sa mga anak nila. Gigisng ng maaga to prepare breakfast for thier kids. Talagang inaasikaso. I also saw kung paano sila dedicated sa marriage and sa pag aalaga ng asawa. Kahit nasa overseas ang asawa mapagkakatiwalaan na mamahala ng bahay and raise the kids right... na bilib ako. Wala sa kano yan. kung meron man, bihirang bihira and its diminishing at a steady rate. Naalala ko.. one time i was outside sa work smoking.. nag comment isang kana.. " i cant wait for my kids to turn 18 so i can kick them out of the house" tapos nag agree naman ibang mga puti. Nagtatawanan pa. Satin nde ganyan. hangat maari mag tulungan hangat ok na makapag isa diba? Kaya yan pag matanda na sila sa nursing home sila nilalagay. hehe. Nde ko sinasabi lahat ng americano ganyan.. pero karamihan.

Sa kano, divorce is always an option. Sa pinay nakikita ko they will work hard to make a marriage work. Ako din ganon. Pag minahal ko mahal ko talaga. Parang parents ko. hangang ngayon ang lambing lambing pa nila sa isat isa. Gusto ko ganon ako sa magiging asawa ko. Divorce is not an option!

Tapos nung nagka gf ako ng pinay. Grabe, super lambing at maasikaso. Pero nde naman one sided. Kasi kung ganon gusto mo maghanap ka na lang ng katulong. hehe. Iba talaga mag mahal ang pinay. Bigay todo. Pero sure naman ako nde naman lahat ng pinay ganon din. pero karamihan. Its part of the culture.

One last thing about the pinay is that im filipino. They can understand when i eat eggs and rice for breakfast. They can understand my humor and my points of view. They like it when i put hotdogs on my spaghetti... madami pa eh.. pero ito na lang muna for now.. nde ko ma organize thoughts ko.. edit ko na lang ulit mamaya... ..
oh before i forget... mas mabango at mas malinis ang pinay.. :)

Revenge.. a great motivation? or not..

Kanina kausap ko pinsan ko. Sinasabi ko im being nice to my ex kasi para pag uwi ko sa pinas i can hookup with her again. When i say hook up. I mean i can see them again maybe hang out.. kasi im the type of person who always wants to know things. I always wonder kung ano na nangyari sa kanila or kamusta na sila..... thats what a nice person would say.. hehe. Pero meron ako alterior motives..

REVENGE.. damn, I sound bitter pero asar talaga ako sa ginawa nya. Dapat ba ako maasar? lets call her tanga...Yung tanga.. nung nagsama kami it was bliss.. Kala ko sya na. Sabi ko babalikan ko sya in about 2 years tapos magsasama na kami. Sa simula ok na ok... pero nde nya kinaya long distance. Dami daw tempations at ayaw nya mag sinungaling sa akin. Actually inaayos ko na papers nya papunta dito pero ayaw ko sabihin kasi gusto ko suprise. Iniwan nya ako late October. I was planning on comming home that Dec and thowing a party and formally proposing... ok im straying away from the topic.. so anyways to break up with me.. she said nakikipag balikan ex nya at mahal pa nya gusto na daw magpakasal ng ex nya.....mahal daw nya kaming dalawa pero ako ay malayo. So ok, whatever makes her happy. Tapos dedma nya ako..at marami pang ginagwang little things na hurtful. Pero i had access to her emails and ibang lalaki nakita ko.. when i asked her about it.. after daw nung ex nya may nagustohan sya na iba... as it turns out niloloko lang sya ng ex nya at meron ibang gf ex nya...hehe. BEHHH BUTI NGA!!!
Pero talagang tinamaan ako.. so umuwi ako ng valentines to really know whats up kasi sinasabi nya mahal pa nya ako pero mahirap lang talaga distance..which is true. Pero kung nakapag hintay sya or tyaga sya.. it wouldnt be long distance..she would be here with me. Tapos puede nya Petition family nya dito. Anyways so nung pag uwi ko, nakilala ko sya ng mas mabuti. Talagang nde sya para sakin at nde ko nararamdaman na yung love. Although naging kami ulit for a few days..sabi nya yung guy daw sa emails nya kunwari lang para nde ko sya kulitin at nde din sya kulitin ng ex nya... PALUSOTTT.. although she diesnt strike me as the type who would lie....anyways... hehe.. pinakilala nya ako sa family nya.. mom, bros and sis, mga tita.. She is from a very poor family. Mom nya nagtitinda sa palengke. Their area is not a nice area. So she is working hard to help them out. Nagustohan ko talaga family nya..ang bait nila sakin.. pero she wasnt that bait to me.. kaya iniwan ko after the first week.. and spent the next 3 weeks dating many other better looking women... hehehe

Yes im over her pero minsan naiisp ko naasar parin ako at nacucurious. So back to the topic.. revenge.. Im sure alam na nya na she really fucked up. nag usap kami not too long ago tinatanong nya kelan daw uwi ko ulit. Sabi ko ewan ko baka nde na. hehehe..of course which is not true... Yung brother nya lagi ako txt at welcome daw ako sa family nila anytime... by me being nice to her my revenge is in progress, but my best revenge is going to come through my success in life.

So how does one measure success? sa dami ba ng pera? nope i dont think so.. i think its how happy you are in life. Pero how can i be happy kung ang motivation ko revenge.. which is an angry feeling... so here i am again contradicting myself... grabe siguro im just a bad person who cant take losing?..... tulonggg....

siguro im just asar sa nangyari and im having a hard time accepting the loss pero i cant be mean to her or cut her off kasi my curiousity got the best of me so i cant let go... ewan.. PERO IM POSITIVELY SURE IM OVER HER..

So i guess im not really that serious about revenge..i just wanted to pour out my angst ...because success is the best revenge.. and u wont have success by thinking of revenge. Im just too nice of a guy to hurt her back.... karma is a bitch.

isip isip

kanina, nakahiga ako sa kama nagiisip ako ano susulat ko sa blog ko... ayaw ko maging corny na tulad ng iba na lagay lang ng lagay ng posts or letters na nakaka walang kuenta basahin. para ka lang nagbabasa ng mga forwarded emails. So i ask myself.

sino ba ang babasa? ang favorite kong pinsan at kung sino man close sakin...
ano lalagay ko? mga naiisip ko lang.. opinions/rants/raves
ano purpose? para yung mga ka close ko mas naiintindihan ako kasi ako mismo nde ko maintindihan sarili ko minsan.. also a way to vent maybe..keep track of my life to be more productive.. and provide some comic relief.
paano kung may ma offend? oh well, ganon talaga. kaya mag tagalog ka kung puede... hehe
ano pa? keep it short and simple para sa mga conti attention span tulad ng author.

so simulan na natin....
ok nasa trabaho ako ulit.. ang mga co workers ko average age is 50+. May dalawang babae.. nasa late 40s...Is this what the future holds for me if i keep doing what im doing? ano best case senario? ma promote ako maging manager then director.. YUCKS.. grabe stress level nila. Working so hard to make someone else richer. Samantalang right now.. 3 days a week lang work ko.. and i dont take my work home...NOT FOR ME!! kelangan ko na talaga ma motivate simulan realestate ko.. ok.. ok..ok...

so far.. nag enroll ako sa classes to get my license. i need 6 classes total. I signed up for 2 self paced online course... shiet.. self paced.. kalaban ko procrastination..pero kaya ko ito..

isipin ko na lang mga co workers ko ngayon..heheh. . matatanda.. mga divorced.. single.. walang social life.. puros lagi computer kaharap. nde gaano nakaka bakasyon.. malayu mga family.. malungkot sobra buhay!!!! then again.. ganyan karamihan ng tao dito sa america.. BUT NOT ME!!
yan lang muna for now...baka na bored na kayo.

work sucks

work sucks, im at work, i hate work, but i have to work to live the life i want. But but since i hate work, so i am already living a life i dont want.... to get the life i want...