Revenge.. a great motivation? or not..

Kanina kausap ko pinsan ko. Sinasabi ko im being nice to my ex kasi para pag uwi ko sa pinas i can hookup with her again. When i say hook up. I mean i can see them again maybe hang out.. kasi im the type of person who always wants to know things. I always wonder kung ano na nangyari sa kanila or kamusta na sila..... thats what a nice person would say.. hehe. Pero meron ako alterior motives..

REVENGE.. damn, I sound bitter pero asar talaga ako sa ginawa nya. Dapat ba ako maasar? lets call her tanga...Yung tanga.. nung nagsama kami it was bliss.. Kala ko sya na. Sabi ko babalikan ko sya in about 2 years tapos magsasama na kami. Sa simula ok na ok... pero nde nya kinaya long distance. Dami daw tempations at ayaw nya mag sinungaling sa akin. Actually inaayos ko na papers nya papunta dito pero ayaw ko sabihin kasi gusto ko suprise. Iniwan nya ako late October. I was planning on comming home that Dec and thowing a party and formally proposing... ok im straying away from the topic.. so anyways to break up with me.. she said nakikipag balikan ex nya at mahal pa nya gusto na daw magpakasal ng ex nya.....mahal daw nya kaming dalawa pero ako ay malayo. So ok, whatever makes her happy. Tapos dedma nya ako..at marami pang ginagwang little things na hurtful. Pero i had access to her emails and ibang lalaki nakita ko.. when i asked her about it.. after daw nung ex nya may nagustohan sya na iba... as it turns out niloloko lang sya ng ex nya at meron ibang gf ex nya...hehe. BEHHH BUTI NGA!!!
Pero talagang tinamaan ako.. so umuwi ako ng valentines to really know whats up kasi sinasabi nya mahal pa nya ako pero mahirap lang talaga distance..which is true. Pero kung nakapag hintay sya or tyaga sya.. it wouldnt be long distance..she would be here with me. Tapos puede nya Petition family nya dito. Anyways so nung pag uwi ko, nakilala ko sya ng mas mabuti. Talagang nde sya para sakin at nde ko nararamdaman na yung love. Although naging kami ulit for a few days..sabi nya yung guy daw sa emails nya kunwari lang para nde ko sya kulitin at nde din sya kulitin ng ex nya... PALUSOTTT.. although she diesnt strike me as the type who would lie....anyways... hehe.. pinakilala nya ako sa family nya.. mom, bros and sis, mga tita.. She is from a very poor family. Mom nya nagtitinda sa palengke. Their area is not a nice area. So she is working hard to help them out. Nagustohan ko talaga family nya..ang bait nila sakin.. pero she wasnt that bait to me.. kaya iniwan ko after the first week.. and spent the next 3 weeks dating many other better looking women... hehehe

Yes im over her pero minsan naiisp ko naasar parin ako at nacucurious. So back to the topic.. revenge.. Im sure alam na nya na she really fucked up. nag usap kami not too long ago tinatanong nya kelan daw uwi ko ulit. Sabi ko ewan ko baka nde na. hehehe..of course which is not true... Yung brother nya lagi ako txt at welcome daw ako sa family nila anytime... by me being nice to her my revenge is in progress, but my best revenge is going to come through my success in life.

So how does one measure success? sa dami ba ng pera? nope i dont think so.. i think its how happy you are in life. Pero how can i be happy kung ang motivation ko revenge.. which is an angry feeling... so here i am again contradicting myself... grabe siguro im just a bad person who cant take losing?..... tulonggg....

siguro im just asar sa nangyari and im having a hard time accepting the loss pero i cant be mean to her or cut her off kasi my curiousity got the best of me so i cant let go... ewan.. PERO IM POSITIVELY SURE IM OVER HER..

So i guess im not really that serious about revenge..i just wanted to pour out my angst ...because success is the best revenge.. and u wont have success by thinking of revenge. Im just too nice of a guy to hurt her back.... karma is a bitch.