Saturday, January 19, 2008

Follow up to the great idea!

So.. nursing in Philippines.. I cant think of a negative outcome by doing this except that I fail my classes and waste my time because of distractions... nah!!

When I graduate from nursing in Philippines :
  • I will never have a problem finding a job anywhere
  • I am going to get payed well
  • I can also use my computer science degree by going into the bio med field
  • I will be helping people giving me a sense of well being
  • No more stupid dorky coworkers that think they are smart ( note: there is a diff between dorks and geeks)
  • More women in the work place
  • Financial security ( i have to mention it twice cause its important, hehe)
  • I will get to experience life in Philippines w/o wasting my time!
  • I have many options to move up
  • It will make my parents very happy
  • It will make me a happier person
so... gimme the negative aspect of not doing this? I'm keeping my mind open.

Great Idea!

Ever since i went home in 2003 i always wanted to live back in Philippines. Tuwing pabalik na ako sa America galing sa pinas, napaka lungkot! Ayaw ko na ma experience yun. Laging napaka lungkot at lagi ako meron naiiwan. Hindi ko lang talaga mawaga because of financial issues and my house.... I have to make payments at nde ko maiwan.

Nung last Aug 24, I went to California with my parents. I saw a distant relative of mine i haven't seen in a little over a year. When I last saw her, she just recently passed her nursing board exam to become a registered nurse, but now, she lives in a HUGE house and have 1 top of the line SUV and 1 nice car... I asked her how she did that.. she said "tingnan mo mga starting ng nurses salary dito." She showed me a letter with her job offers.. the Average starting salary was 49$ an hour! That's over a hundred grand a year! much more then im making!!!
So we started catching up and I gave her my speech on how I hate my job and my field and corporate america. Then she suggested why dont you study nursing sa pinas cause all you need to do is get the 2 yr degree and then take the NCLEX. Then my mom said, "Yea you should do that instead of wasting your time in pinas sa gimik." DING! DING! DING! I started seeing all these bells and lightbulbs started around my head. hehe.. kala ko sa cartoons lang yun nangyayari!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Philippines aftermath..

Its been almost a month since I got back from my trip to Philippines.. and im feeling really weird.

1. Im not determind/looking for that special someone.
2. I feel like a part of my life just ended and im starting a new chapter
3. Im not looking forward/planning my next trip to philippines
4. I wanna concentrate on being financially secure

I had fun on this trip. I accomplished many things and met some interesting people.. I didnt get romantically involved in anybody.. and I had many flings... now im going to try to dissect why having these feelings..

1. Maybe I met too many girls..and realized that no one is going to be perfect. Even my ex when i was with her.. i remember feeling that she isnt perfect.. until i lost her was when i was thinking she was perfect. Ewan ko ba.. ang gulo ng isip ko.... ayaw ko na lang isipin. Besides right now.. im seeing a few women.. which i will write about soon..

2. 20something na ako!! shiet na malagket! ewan!

3. Ayaw ko na bumalik sa pinas for vacation. Ang lungkot tuwing umuuwi ako pabalik sa america. ayaw ko na maramdaman yun. Sisikapin ko na pag umuwi ako next pang matagalan na!

4. I guess this ties in with 3... gusto ko na talaga bumalik sa pinas ayaw ko na dito. Nde ko magagwa yun w/o having alot of money...

yan na lang muna.. try ko ulit sumulat bukas.. nalungkot tuloy ako kasi naalala ko pinas :(

Change of Address

Iniba ko address ng blog ko kasi meron dyan mga tao na ayaw ko makita nila blog ko kasi minsan sila pinaguusapan ko. hehe.

Tagal ko na nde na update blog ko kasi im really lazy and there is just too much to tell na nde ko alam san mag simula. Last update ko was even before i went to phil. Oh well i guess i should at least try and just put what i feel like putting. The rest will just come... if i write it.. it will come.. hehe.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Homebound!

Got a flight to phil in 25 hours. Im so excited, i gotta pack after work.
I been preparing for this trip for quite a while now. Reached my weight goal and got the pasalubongs. Im going to be broke on this trip, i wont be able to party like crazy w/o thinking of the expenses, but its all good since this trip is about family. And if things work out the way i want to.. i wouldnt need to party as much... because.........Abangan ang susunod na kabanata..

Sunday, November 05, 2006

blog still on hold!! pics muna






dami exciting things nangyayari. pause muna blog updates until further notice.
sorry sa last post ko ang bulok dami ko nde kinonsider. oh well pics muna ... :)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Selosa ba pinay?

Halos lahat ng barkada ko dito na mga pinoy meron na mga asawa. Pansin ko sa kanila daming bawal or tinatago sa asawa. Mga asawa naman pikon sobra at selosa, walang tiwala sa mga lalaki.

Holloween dito masaya, madaming tao gumagala. Sa downtown super dami tao mga naka costume. Tapos last year punta kami ng mga friends ko para manood, isa sa kaibigan namin ayaw payagan ng asawa kasi dami daw babae. grabe! hehe. Tapos minsan nag concert dito si Rica Peralejo. Ibang mga pinoy ayaw payagan ng asawa dahil bold star daw sya! haha grabe noh!
Hindi lang selosa iba sa kanila iba pa pala away! lagi inaaway asawa pag meron dumaan na maganda at napatingin asawa. Ewan ko ba pero ayaw ko matulad sa kanila...

Nung kami ng ex ko na puti, I let her do what she wants and vice versa. Gumigimik pa yan minsan kasama nya puros lalaki sa trabaho, but It doesn't bother me. Meron ako tiwala sa kanya at alam nya pag sinira nya tiwala ko, nde na mababalik. Ang sarap ng relationship namin bihira kami mag away tungkol sa selosan or ingitan. Super secure feeling ko sa kanya syempre din i made her feel secure. Napaka open minded nya at nde nagaasume.

Yung ex ko na pinay, pansin ko selosa tinitingnan mga txt ko. Tinatanong lagi san ako at sino kasama ko. Iniisip ko kasi bago lang kami nde pa nya ako gaano kilala kaya ganon. Pero nde kami tumagal para makilala nya ako ng husto. Sya naman pinapayagan ko gawin lahat at nde ako nagtatanong. Punta yan sa party, next day ang uwi tapos walang reply sa txt ko. sasabihin naubos battery or nde narinig txt. Anyways.. sana nde ganon ugali ng pinay... super panget yun.
kaya yung mga pinoy kong kaibigan patago gumimik. Dami nde sinasabi sa asawa nde sila open... oh well.. cant have everything...or can you? Siguro kelangan lang ng better communication between both parties and have trust...

I did it!

W00w000 I reached my goal with 2 more months to go till Philippines! Now i gotta get my body accustomed to my weight tapos tigil na ako sa pag yosi. Pero nde naman totally tigil, pag gimik lang yosi at special occasion. hehehe. Ito proof at pic, ganda ng view, banyo sa trabaho.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Help !

My favorite cousin's friend needs your prayer and support, please visit momsi.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Congrats and Good luck to Ann and Jason

Lapit na kasal ng friend ko si Ann. Tagal nya pinaghahandaan itong araw na ito. You can check out the progress at her blog http://jayzanne.blogspot.com/. Kakaingit! Ano ba best wish you can give to a couple getting married to start the rest of their lives together? Well, I hope and wish you guys can overcome the trials and hardships of relationships and what life has to offer. May Each trial and hardship you encounter make your relationship stronger. Remember communication is the key. Be carefull with what you say with your mad, angry, inebriated, or not in the right state of mind. Likewise what your partner says when he/she is not in the right state of mind is usually out of anger and frustration, dont take it into heart. Learn from past mistakes and I'm sure both of you will succeed in life with flying colors :). amen

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

UPDATE!

Nag soccer ako kagabi, pagkatapos ay tinimbangko sarili ko, i now weigh 188! woowoo lapit na 180. tapos ng 180, kelangan ko mag quit mag yosi, yun ang challenge. Panget halikan ang nagyoyosi eh. hehe.

Lumalamig na dito, kahapon first day na malamig, as in kelangan ko mag sweater pag labas ko ng house. Sarap ng feeling, binuksan ko mga bintana sa house and let the cold fresh air in. kaso ang bad part is madali na dumilim at late sumikat araw. Days are getting shorter, wich means less time for soccer. tapos the 3 days i work, i may not see sunlight. Pag punta ko sa work, madilim na. tapos after work, madilim pa.. hehe.. oh well..

Sa female situation naman.. parang ok.. ewan natin.. wala pa ako concrete na masabi eh but i think its going good, and its going to be good..

Kelangan ko na file vacation ko. sana bigyan ako 4 weeks!! Yun lang po.. isip kayo ng topic na puede ko write about..

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Help someone for self gratification

Nung nasa pinas ako. Naglalakad ako sa SM North tapos meron isang bata umiikak sa harap ng Wendys. Tapos tiningnan ko mga kasama nya lahat nagiiyakan. Tinanong ko, ok lang kayo? Ano problema? Sabi nung pinaka matanda, pinuntahan daw nila tatay nila sa manila, tapos pina alis sila kasi meron na ibang family yung tatay nila sa manila. Tapos wala daw silang pamasahe pauwi. nde nila alam kung paano sila uuwi sa province. Nakaaawa. Nde pa daw sila kumakain. So i invited them to eat with me sa Wendys.

Tinanong ko yung pinaka matanda ano work nya sabi nya naglalaba daw sya. Tanong ko kung bakit ayaw nya subukan mag work sa jolibee. Sabi nya sa akin pag wala ka daw natapos mahirap makahanap ng kahit anong trabaho. Pati daw sa jolibee, kelangan meron ka natapos. Dito sa states mga walang natapos at pinagtratrabahuhan mga McDo at Restos.. hehe.. anyways.. so kuentohan lang kami about thier life.. grabe it made me apreciate my life and my family. So sabi ko sa kanila.. make sure wag mangyari sa mga magiging anak nila nangyayari sa kanila. Yung dalawang bata nag promise sakin na magaaral sila at tatapusin nila college. Nag promise din sakin sila na nde sila magaasawa at magaanak agad after graduating. Ayun I gave them my number and some moneny and told them to txt me when they get home sa province, or kung kelangan nila ng tulong na kaya ko ibigay.

Pag balik ko sa states, i havent heard from them untill like 2 months later nag txt sila nangangamusta. wala daw sila phone at load eh kaya nde maka txt. Ngayon nagtetext na ulit nangangamusta lagi. Kung kelangan ko daw ng katulong or labandera puede yung pinaka matanda, or kung meron ako kilala na nangangailangan ng katulog recomend ko daw sya. Nde daw nya ako ipapahiya... kaya kung meron sa inyo naghahanap ng maid. I would recommend her. :).

Makes me feel good when i help people. It gives me a sense of self satisfaction. I decided na pag nanalo ako ng lottery, im going to quit my job and spend the rest of my days traveling and helping the less fortunate...la lang..sarap lang makatulong..

Sunday, September 10, 2006

I love you

These 3 words are one of the most powerful words you can say to an individual. Ewan ko sa inyo pero para sakin pag sinabi mo ito, its the ultimate thing you can say to express how you feel. Sa 2 girls ko pa lang nasabi ito. Sa ex kong puti at sa ex kong pinay. Para sakin pag sinabi ko ito, handa ka na gawin kahit ano para lang sa kanya. Kung magkalayo kayo handa ka na gumawa ng paraan para maging malapit kayo. Kung meron problema handa ka na gawin kahit ano para matulungan ang iyong minamahal. Handa ka na mag donate ng isa sa mga organs mo kung kelangan nya... Handa ka na magpakamatay.

Siguro sa ibat ibang tao iba iba ang ibig sabihin nito. Ibang tao madali lang nila sabihin over the phone, over email, over a letter. Pero para sakin kelangan personal at tinitingnan mo mga mata nya para makita mo ang kanyang reaction. Kelangan pag sinabi ito kelangan clear ang utak ng tao, nde lasing, galit, in the middle of sex, or whatever.. hehe yes in the middle of sex.. has happend a couple of times... anyways... ano ba ang dapat gawin pag sinabihan ka nito at nde ka pa handa? Ewan ko lang pero dapat maging totoo ka. sabihin mo na nde ka pa ready at kinikilala mo pa para nde ka maka sakit. Ibang babae siguro nde ito maiintindihan.. pero wala ka talaga magagawa except just explain to them how u feel. Siguro minsan parehas ang nararamdaman nyo pero sa kanya love na yun pero para sayo ay hindi pa.. simula pa lang..

Anyways, kung nangyari yun sa mga tao, siguro ultimatly iba lang ang ibig sabihin or degrees ng definition of love nila. Pero para sakin ito ang ibig sabihin. You can usually tell how I feel through my actions. Ikanga actions speak louder then words diba?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The damage has been done.

last 3 days yung ex ko nag pm sa ym, kamusta ka na? tapos the next day.. "nagyoyosi ka na pala ulit ha" tapos today ito sabi nya pinaginipan daw nya ako kagabi..ito sabi nya.

Ruby: nasa pinas ka daw pumunta daw tayo sa bicol samin may kasama tayo na frnd,sweet nyo nung frnd ko na selos daw ako..wala lang kakatawa

kakatawa daw na miss nya ako! oh well.. dedma dedma dedma.. :)
ginagawa ko na itong blog ko pang vent ah.. ok lang blog ko ito eh..
ito pics namin kung curious kayo..






Sunday, September 03, 2006

Im apreciated!



W00w000. im apreciated. Someone i helped out sent me a thank you note. A call center in india had issues with thier passwords. I had to find the right people to fix thier issues, ayusin mga problema, mag set up ng conference calls.. etc.. points nanaman ito sa manager ko... hehehe

my love...

I love my car! hehe

Saturday, September 02, 2006

REQUIREMENTS OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

kausap ko isang maganda at mabait na babae 2 days ago, tinanong ko ano hanap nya sa isang guy.. ito sagot nya...

Miss ganda at bait: am not even particular about a guyz look,ok na sakin if he's god fearing,gentleman,passionate about life and his work,has a well toned body,has sex appeal,has beautiful eyes,with a striking personality,madiskarte and neat di ako pihikan ha hihihihhi

So.. nde daw sya pihikan! hehe.. napaisip ako.. sino ba ang ganito. diba marami naman guys na ganito?

1. God Fearing -- general mass?

2. Gentleman -- yan mahirap, of course every guy will be a gentleman at first. But as time goes buy, are they still going to open the car door for u? You can notice this quality sa guys by how he treats his mother/sister/aunts.

3. Passionate about life and work -- shiet, i hate work, pero im striving to change carreers. Life, i love no question about that, but what about other guys? Usually ang average person (no masters or phd) work for the man. Meaning they are regular workers. They may find passion in thier work initially but that will fade. Work will become a habit/daily routine for them. Which is a necessity to live and provide for thier family. The others on the otherhand, like Doctors, Lawyers, or Businessman may find passion in thier work. Pero these people are usually submerge in work that they barely have time to enjoy life and family. Baka nagpapalusot lang ako kasi ako nde passionate. Pero i will be once i get something started...something i love..

4. Well toned body, sexappeal, beautiful eyes -- shiet nanaman!! well.. a well toned body can be achived by anybody who has enough discipline. Sex appeal goes hand in hand with the body. Yung beautiful eyes, thats in the eye of the beholder na.. pero it can grow on people.. heheheh (work out work out work out)

5. Madiskarte -- I think this goes hand in hand with intelligent and streetsmart. Im assuming Madiskarte means magaling sa buhay (definition ng cousin kong matalino). I guess you can see this in a person by seeing what they have accomplished in life, how they handle situations, kung paano sila makisama sa mga tao... MADISKARTE DAW AKO! ooops napindot ko all caps...hehe

6. Neat -- ah madali lang yan. kung gugustohin lang ng tao yan. nung nagka gf ako naging neat ako kasi she would never come over if my apt is messy. hehe...

So with having said all that... kelangan nya makahanap ng lalaki na nagsisimba, mataas ang position sa work(ok na siguro systems operations engineer *ahem*), mahilig mag travel/enjoy (binagit ko na ba na nalibot ko halos buong USA, nilibot ko buong pinas, been to mexico to see mayan ruins and beachs of cozumel, planning on going to europe?) , nagwoworkout concerned sa itsura nya (ehem), na mabait sa mga babae sa buhay (puros babae cousin ko!), at neat (neat haircut ko).....

SHIET! hehe

NDE AKO MAKATULOG PART 2

So I was telling the doctor about my sleeping problem. Tapos humihingi ako ng valium (its an awesome drug). The doctor gave me a dirty look and called me stupid. She said buy some sleeping pills and told me to go home!! heheh.. i labs ko talaga sister ko!!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Manghuhula bulok!

I was in NY about 3 weeks ago. As I was walking down the street in the lower east side when I saw a tarot card reader, tarot reading for 10 dollars. I figured what the heck.. Might as well, I have some time to kill. So I proceeded with the reading.

She made me cut the deck a few times, shuffle, and pick a few cards..
According to her reading.. She seems me recently cutting off a few ties that has been dragging me down (don't really know what she meant by that.. I stopped talking to my ex.. And don't plan on calling her or speaking to her, also this other girl that I use to think about a lot.. I stopped thinkin about her as much.. don't really care anymore). She said that could be it.

She said im comming off a bad luck cycle so the next few years should be good for me. She also told me, that should go ahead and try the new risk/adventure/change.
With this new risk I will be successful and be happy. She said with this new venture, I will meet a man who will be my mentor. This man has a lot of gadgets and is an older fellow. Through this man I will meet a female.. she sees it as a very light skinned girl. So I ask, is it going to be a white girl.. she replied, yes. Right then and there.. I knew she sucks!! I don't want no stinkin white girl! Pero crush ko ngayon ang puti puti! Nde yata umiitim.. hehe.. She said this should happen within the next two months. She also said our relationship is going to be very physical and sexual, so be carefull if I don't want to have any babies soon. YIKES!!

Welp, that's 10 dollars wasted. She gave me her card. Said if I have any questions just call/email her. She said she's usually busy she has a lot of regular clients but will reply to my emails eventually. I guess we just have to see what the future holds...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Sino ito?





Sino ito? artista ba? model ba? hulaan nyo! bagay ba kami? grabe ganda talaga ng pinay!!

View at Work


Ito view sa desk ko kuha ng phone ko. Yan PC ko, phone, water, tapos meron apat na monitor where i get alerts and monitor activity... shiet boring!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Bigatin!!!

hehe..hanep si title.. kanina.. naglalakad ako sa walmart (malaking tindahan dito) tapos meron malaki at mataba na babae sa harap ko.. ang bagal mag lakad. Nde ako maka overtake..kasi sa laki ng tyan nya.. naka labas mga baraso nya na matataba. Nakakatakot baka ma bundol ako. hehe.
Naisip ko.. ano kaya nangyari bat napapabayaan nila lumaki sila ng ganito kalaki?

Grabe food dito sa america. super nakakataba. Paano wala naman ako gaano ginagawa.. work naka upo. Tapos bihira mag lakad lagi nasa car. Bihira ako kumain ng healthy. Nakakatamad kasi mag luto pag mag isa ka lang. I weighed around 210lbs siguro mga 2 years ago. Namamayat lang ako ng conti pag soccer season, pero conti lang..hehe. Nung nalaman ko uuwi ako ng pinas.. I went on a hardcore diet/workout for like 2 months.. na reach ko ang weight na 180lbs. Grabe ang laki ng difference ng payat socially ... i would go dancing.. girls ang naglalapitan! (hirap ba paniwalaan pero totoo!) hehe. Lakas na ba hangin dyan?


Tapos wala ako ginawa sa pinas kung nde uminom at kumain ng pulutan...sarap ng buhay! Nung pag balik ko dito eh di yun nga break ako ni alam nyo na.. tapos yun nilabas ko galit ko sa pagkain! grabe tumaba ako ng husto. up to 225!! Isang pants ko na lang nag kasya pero i refused to buy new cloths kasi in denial ako..hehe... ito nung nasa airport ako pauwi ng pinas...


So ngayon meron ako bago inspiration.. kaya nag simula na ulit training. Ang ganda at sexy sobra ng inspiration ko kelangan match kami. Nde lang sya maganda at maganda pero napaka bait pa. Tapos magaling pa kumanta at napaka considerate, totoo yan, meron pang taong ganon. :) Currently nasa 195 ako from 225. Ang goal ko is 180 ulit. Halos every day if i dont run 2 miles, I play soccer. Once I reach 180, super work out naman goal ko para ayus. hehe.

You can usually tell a little bit about a persons character sa itsura nila. So its true meron ibang tao payat talaga na nahihirapan tumaba.. pero like yung mga tao na super taba.. syempre kumain sila ng marami to reach that weight. Wala sila discipline to stop themselves from reaching extreme obeseity. So usually mahina sila , or meron mental/emotional problems, or tamad sila walang pakealam sa sarili. Im only refering to the extreme cases ha! Anyways walang point itong entry na ito. Asar lang ako sa mga super taba kasi usually super tamad tulad ng mga co workers ko!! hehehe..

Sorry kung meron ako na offend dyan.. pero im sure you know what im talking about..and if you are one of them..do something about it! For yourself, for your health, for your family, and for the people around you... peace!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

NDE AKO MAKATULOG

For the past 3 weeks ang gulo ng tulog ko at least twice a week. Parang light sleep lang na madaming iniisip. Ang gulo ng utak ko nde ko matahimik. Right now i was trying to sleep pero bumangon ako kasi nde nanaman ako makatulog.

Iniisip ko things in life lang.. i have this feeling of anxiety na nde ko maintindihan. I keep moving around my bed tapos minsan pinapawisan or giniginaw. Ano kaya ito.. parang midlife crisis or menapuse.. hehe.

I was thinking about my future. like what wil happen if i quit my job. grabe i will lose so many things. my house, my car, my independence. Pero yung mga mahihirap na tao.. wala sila pera so they dont have much to lose to begin with. Yung mga contento sa buhay na conti ang material things pero happy sila sa life nila and with thier loved ones..kakaingit.
If u think about it.. yung mga mayayaman na tao ang madaming problema sa buhay. Sila ang nadedepress and take drugs for an escape. Meron ka na ba narinig na farmer or fisherman na nagpakamatay cause of depression?
Tingnan mo si michael jackson for example... super yaman nun pero tingnan mo ginawa nya sa mukha nya.. u think he is happy and content with life when he looks in the mirror even though he has everything he could possibly want.. what is missing? love? family? friends? Anyways im sure u get the point.

Iniisip ko din mga women in my life.. past and present..pero nde ko puede bangitin dito kasi masyado personal... pero things are going good.. i think.. kung walang magbabago.. slow and steady..

Iniisip ko din how i miss friends na nde ko na gaano nakikita or nakakausap cause of distance.. i hope and pray that you all are doing well!! These people have really good and genuine charactr: LIz, asim, mian, carl, liz na isa pa, corina, cathy!

Iniisip ko din mga pinsan ko na napakababait at ganda... how i regret na i didnt get to hang out with them as much as i would like to, nde ko sila nabigyan ng advice like a kuya should. Na miss ko mga debut, wedding, company, and important things that happend in thier life..

Iniisip ko din mga coworkers ko na ang tatamad.. ang papanget ng mga work ethics.. Iniisip ko how in corporate america.. you move up with who you know and not what u know...

I have htis general feeling of asar and worry..shiet ang pagnet.. punta na lang ako sa doc next week.. papatingin ko ulo ko.. hehe..

Saturday, August 19, 2006

how to weed out guys

Grabe ang hahaba ng mga post ko.. gusto ko short and simple lang pero dami ko storia eh..sorry!

Lately ang dami ko nakikilala.. nagkaroon ng bf.. tapos yung bf nila meron na pala ibang gf or asawa!! shiet! grabe naman yan.. paano kayo nabibiktima ng ganon classeng lalaki? Nde ko alam sagot dyan..siguro magaling sila mangbola or sobrang wafu nila or something, ewan ko... pero usually those instances are long distance relationships.

Sa pinas.. karamihan ng pinsan ko mga babae. Actually sa mother side lahat sila babae... So asar ako sa mga lalaking manloloko! Pag meron nangloko sa inyo at kaibigan ko kayo.. pakilala nyo sakin..sisipain ko sa mukha.. :) basta wag lang over 6'3. hehe

Anyways ang maadvice ko dyan.. sa kahit kaninong lalaki.. ay pahirapan nyo ang lalaki. Bigyan nyo ng challenge. Usually ang manloloko.. madali mag give up. Lahat ng lalaki pahirapan nyo. Awayin nyo pa minsan minsan para makilala nyo ng husto. Minsan kasi nakikilala nyo ang tunay nilang pagkatao pag galit sila. Dapat kasi ang lalaki, they have to earn your trust and respect. Nde lang yan basta basta binibigay. Lalu na pag nde nyo pa kilala gaano ang lalaki. The fun part in being in a relationship is the process of getting to know each other. Yun ang masarap dyan eh..

Ok so lets say binigyan na ninyo ng chance.. the next part is take it slow! Wag kayo magmamadali. Kung mahal kayo nyan, magtatyaga yan kahit gaano ka tagal at hirap.. wag lang unreasonable. Alamin nyo schedules nila at common habits nila w/o invading their space. Usually pag meron kayo nde alam at meron silang palusot.. mag duda na kayo. Pag mahal kayo ng lalaki.. they would want you to know what they are doing cause usually they are always thinking about you. Kilalalnin nyo friends and family nila. Pag gusto kayo ng lalaki..papakilala nila kayo sa friends and family nila.. pag ayaw kayo pakilala.. mag duda na kayo! I cant think of a good reason why they wouldnt do such a thing.

Anyways.. try nyo follow yan..I dont claim to be a guy expert or relationship expert.. observation ko lang yan...so hopefully nde na kayo ma loko ng iba...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Pinay VS Others

Lagi ako tinatanong.. bat wala pa ako asawa or gf since i already have a house, stable job, car, etc.... Ang lagi kong sagot. Wala kasi ako nakikilala dito na pinay eh. So the next question.. bakit pinay?

I moved here sa states when i was about 13 yrs old. Most of the girls i went out with are white american girls, a few mexicans, a few vietnamese, one korean, and had a fling with an indian girl...oh and a french girl. Patay na patay ako dati sa blonde and blue eyed girl. When i was 26, I have been going out with this white girl for almost 2 years. Things were getting rocky so we took a little time off and I went back to Philippines for the first time after 13 yrs.

Nung nasa pinas ako. Nakita ko paano mag alaga mga tita ko sa mga anak nila. Gigisng ng maaga to prepare breakfast for thier kids. Talagang inaasikaso. I also saw kung paano sila dedicated sa marriage and sa pag aalaga ng asawa. Kahit nasa overseas ang asawa mapagkakatiwalaan na mamahala ng bahay and raise the kids right... na bilib ako. Wala sa kano yan. kung meron man, bihirang bihira and its diminishing at a steady rate. Naalala ko.. one time i was outside sa work smoking.. nag comment isang kana.. " i cant wait for my kids to turn 18 so i can kick them out of the house" tapos nag agree naman ibang mga puti. Nagtatawanan pa. Satin nde ganyan. hangat maari mag tulungan hangat ok na makapag isa diba? Kaya yan pag matanda na sila sa nursing home sila nilalagay. hehe. Nde ko sinasabi lahat ng americano ganyan.. pero karamihan.

Sa kano, divorce is always an option. Sa pinay nakikita ko they will work hard to make a marriage work. Ako din ganon. Pag minahal ko mahal ko talaga. Parang parents ko. hangang ngayon ang lambing lambing pa nila sa isat isa. Gusto ko ganon ako sa magiging asawa ko. Divorce is not an option!

Tapos nung nagka gf ako ng pinay. Grabe, super lambing at maasikaso. Pero nde naman one sided. Kasi kung ganon gusto mo maghanap ka na lang ng katulong. hehe. Iba talaga mag mahal ang pinay. Bigay todo. Pero sure naman ako nde naman lahat ng pinay ganon din. pero karamihan. Its part of the culture.

One last thing about the pinay is that im filipino. They can understand when i eat eggs and rice for breakfast. They can understand my humor and my points of view. They like it when i put hotdogs on my spaghetti... madami pa eh.. pero ito na lang muna for now.. nde ko ma organize thoughts ko.. edit ko na lang ulit mamaya... ..
oh before i forget... mas mabango at mas malinis ang pinay.. :)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Revenge.. a great motivation? or not..

Kanina kausap ko pinsan ko. Sinasabi ko im being nice to my ex kasi para pag uwi ko sa pinas i can hookup with her again. When i say hook up. I mean i can see them again maybe hang out.. kasi im the type of person who always wants to know things. I always wonder kung ano na nangyari sa kanila or kamusta na sila..... thats what a nice person would say.. hehe. Pero meron ako alterior motives..

REVENGE.. damn, I sound bitter pero asar talaga ako sa ginawa nya. Dapat ba ako maasar? lets call her tanga...Yung tanga.. nung nagsama kami it was bliss.. Kala ko sya na. Sabi ko babalikan ko sya in about 2 years tapos magsasama na kami. Sa simula ok na ok... pero nde nya kinaya long distance. Dami daw tempations at ayaw nya mag sinungaling sa akin. Actually inaayos ko na papers nya papunta dito pero ayaw ko sabihin kasi gusto ko suprise. Iniwan nya ako late October. I was planning on comming home that Dec and thowing a party and formally proposing... ok im straying away from the topic.. so anyways to break up with me.. she said nakikipag balikan ex nya at mahal pa nya gusto na daw magpakasal ng ex nya.....mahal daw nya kaming dalawa pero ako ay malayo. So ok, whatever makes her happy. Tapos dedma nya ako..at marami pang ginagwang little things na hurtful. Pero i had access to her emails and ibang lalaki nakita ko.. when i asked her about it.. after daw nung ex nya may nagustohan sya na iba... as it turns out niloloko lang sya ng ex nya at meron ibang gf ex nya...hehe. BEHHH BUTI NGA!!!
Pero talagang tinamaan ako.. so umuwi ako ng valentines to really know whats up kasi sinasabi nya mahal pa nya ako pero mahirap lang talaga distance..which is true. Pero kung nakapag hintay sya or tyaga sya.. it wouldnt be long distance..she would be here with me. Tapos puede nya Petition family nya dito. Anyways so nung pag uwi ko, nakilala ko sya ng mas mabuti. Talagang nde sya para sakin at nde ko nararamdaman na yung love. Although naging kami ulit for a few days..sabi nya yung guy daw sa emails nya kunwari lang para nde ko sya kulitin at nde din sya kulitin ng ex nya... PALUSOTTT.. although she diesnt strike me as the type who would lie....anyways... hehe.. pinakilala nya ako sa family nya.. mom, bros and sis, mga tita.. She is from a very poor family. Mom nya nagtitinda sa palengke. Their area is not a nice area. So she is working hard to help them out. Nagustohan ko talaga family nya..ang bait nila sakin.. pero she wasnt that bait to me.. kaya iniwan ko after the first week.. and spent the next 3 weeks dating many other better looking women... hehehe

Yes im over her pero minsan naiisp ko naasar parin ako at nacucurious. So back to the topic.. revenge.. Im sure alam na nya na she really fucked up. nag usap kami not too long ago tinatanong nya kelan daw uwi ko ulit. Sabi ko ewan ko baka nde na. hehehe..of course which is not true... Yung brother nya lagi ako txt at welcome daw ako sa family nila anytime... by me being nice to her my revenge is in progress, but my best revenge is going to come through my success in life.

So how does one measure success? sa dami ba ng pera? nope i dont think so.. i think its how happy you are in life. Pero how can i be happy kung ang motivation ko revenge.. which is an angry feeling... so here i am again contradicting myself... grabe siguro im just a bad person who cant take losing?..... tulonggg....

siguro im just asar sa nangyari and im having a hard time accepting the loss pero i cant be mean to her or cut her off kasi my curiousity got the best of me so i cant let go... ewan.. PERO IM POSITIVELY SURE IM OVER HER..

So i guess im not really that serious about revenge..i just wanted to pour out my angst ...because success is the best revenge.. and u wont have success by thinking of revenge. Im just too nice of a guy to hurt her back.... karma is a bitch.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

isip isip

kanina, nakahiga ako sa kama nagiisip ako ano susulat ko sa blog ko... ayaw ko maging corny na tulad ng iba na lagay lang ng lagay ng posts or letters na nakaka walang kuenta basahin. para ka lang nagbabasa ng mga forwarded emails. So i ask myself.

sino ba ang babasa? ang favorite kong pinsan at kung sino man close sakin...
ano lalagay ko? mga naiisip ko lang.. opinions/rants/raves
ano purpose? para yung mga ka close ko mas naiintindihan ako kasi ako mismo nde ko maintindihan sarili ko minsan.. also a way to vent maybe..keep track of my life to be more productive.. and provide some comic relief.
paano kung may ma offend? oh well, ganon talaga. kaya mag tagalog ka kung puede... hehe
ano pa? keep it short and simple para sa mga conti attention span tulad ng author.

so simulan na natin....
ok nasa trabaho ako ulit.. ang mga co workers ko average age is 50+. May dalawang babae.. nasa late 40s...Is this what the future holds for me if i keep doing what im doing? ano best case senario? ma promote ako maging manager then director.. YUCKS.. grabe stress level nila. Working so hard to make someone else richer. Samantalang right now.. 3 days a week lang work ko.. and i dont take my work home...NOT FOR ME!! kelangan ko na talaga ma motivate simulan realestate ko.. ok.. ok..ok...

so far.. nag enroll ako sa classes to get my license. i need 6 classes total. I signed up for 2 self paced online course... shiet.. self paced.. kalaban ko procrastination..pero kaya ko ito..

isipin ko na lang mga co workers ko ngayon..heheh. . matatanda.. mga divorced.. single.. walang social life.. puros lagi computer kaharap. nde gaano nakaka bakasyon.. malayu mga family.. malungkot sobra buhay!!!! then again.. ganyan karamihan ng tao dito sa america.. BUT NOT ME!!
yan lang muna for now...baka na bored na kayo.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

work sucks

work sucks, im at work, i hate work, but i have to work to live the life i want. But but since i hate work, so i am already living a life i dont want.... to get the life i want...